For every party, there are parents who don’t respond to your invitation and then don’t attend the party, or who don’t respond and then do show up. Either scenario presents a planning problem. Here’s how to get guests to RSVP for your party.
Here’s a story from the trenches: one of my friends was hosting a 6th birthday party for her daughter. Grandparents arrived with their twin granddaughters (not mine, I promise). Grandma mentioned that Twin A had been throwing up that morning but she hated for her to miss the party. Eew! Cheers for my friend who very nicely told the grandparents that they couldn’t stay and pass their germs to all the other guests. And no, this family had not RSVPed.
Pick up the Phone, Send a Text
My rule is: if the party is four days away and I haven’t heard from someone, I call. My excuse (not that I need one) is that “I’m trying to finalize goody bags and I’m hoping little Susie Q will be able to make it to the party.”
My First Boss Was Right
My first paying job involved planning luncheons for a financial planner. Part of my duties were to confirm RSVPs — and those who hadn’t responded — the day before the lunch. That always helped firm up our numbers. Then, no matter what the results of my phone calls, she’d have me give a final number to the restaurant that was two fewer guests than the number who had said they’d attend. “There are always two who won’t show up,” my boss would say.
I’d always fret that those two would show and the restaurant would have to squeeze them in, but she was always right. Two people wouldn’t attend, and she never got stuck paying for uneaten meals.
Today, when I plan my own parties, I always think of that advice, because you know what? Two people always don’t show up.
Assume They’ll Be a Yes
If I still can’t get a confirmation, I plan for invitees to arrive anyway. I’d much rather over plan and spend a little extra than have to scramble at the last minute. (This is just one more reason I like at-home parties: if you pay for extras at a facility, you’ll spend much more than you would at a home-based party.)
Should I save a little and follow the “two won’t show rule”? Maybe. But I just can’t make myself do it.
I wish I had a solution that would guarantee all invitees would RSVP. Do you think “Please Reply by DATE” would be more effective than “RSVP”? Is it too demanding sounding? I’d love to hear your ideas on this Party Manners topic.
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